Worst Things You Can Say To An Aircraft Mechanic?

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Worst Things You Can Say To An Aircraft Mechanic?

 Thought it might be fun to share some war stories on absurd or even funny requests you have received over the years as a aircraft maintenance professional.  Use the Add Comment link below to post your favorites.

Many years ago, I was doing an extensive annual on a Cessna 340. The owner came in the shop - said he had a trip scheduled in it for that afternoon. All of the landing gear is removed and sitting on the floor. All of the exhaust (both sides) was on the floor. All of the seats, carpet, etc. was on the floor. When he asked me that question, I turned around, looked at the pile of airplane parts. All I could do was laugh. His face got red, he then stormed out of the shop slamming doors. From then on, I never saw him in the shop, he just called and politely asked if the airplane was ready to go.

I would take it as a positive, the customer obviously though you were a miracle worker :)

On this particular aircraft the engine was directly over the baggage compartment. After the last flight of the day the pilot had written up “Oil Leaking into Baggage Compartment”. I had directed a technician working for me to “Clear the Squawks” on that aircraft.

Later in the shift I would review the logbook entries to ensure they were completed correctly. The Technicians signoff was simply “Prosealed Baggage Compartment”. Sure-enough, not a lick of effort towards actually stopping the oil leak at the source, but one of the finest proseal jobs I had ever seen!!!

HAHAHA. I liked the mechanics approach but I suspect he looked for the oil leak, found it to be so horrendous only an engine overhaul could repair and did the next best thing! I applaud his customer satisfaction skills and creativity.

I had a discussion with a customer on a needed fix. We had been talking for the last few years that this repair coming due. After going round and round with me about not wanting to spend the money he replied "Come on Mike, you know me, I WOULD NEVER SUE YOU!!" I calmly replied that he was absolutely correct that he would not sue me. I informed him that he would be DEAD. Of course his wife and kids are going to sue me. They need the money that he spent on his airplane.

Do I really need it? Isn't it done yet? Your repair on the entertainment system created a noise in the landing gear (or two completely unrelated systems).

OMG! That is hilarious. Out of sight, out of mind, I guess.

The FAA is coming today.

"The check is in the mail."
To which I calmly replied,
"then so will your Log Books be!"

We had a customer who purchased a piston engine for his experimental engine. I got a call from the owner who told me on the test flight the engine quit during power reduction on final approach. He'd landed safely but was extremely upset with us. During the discussion he informed me that he had installed the engine, performed a full power test run and then gone for his test flight.
With our paperwork we supply a notice that before flight the engine needs final fuel system, oil pressure and other parameter verification. He hadn't set up his idle speed and mixture rise so it was excessively rich and caused the engine to quit.

"We don't really need to do that right? It's just cosmetic."

"We don't need to fly the aircraft with stall warning working... we can feel if it's going to stall when it starts buffering."

"Just bend the wing back to where it was and return it to service."

"We thought we would remove the engine with the cherry picker - but sorry we destroyed the fuel line with the attaching chain." Flight School Owner and his asistant both not A&P's. They did it after I had left work to go home and reported it the next day.

It is like you are looking for stuff that's broke......duh

I'm not bringing my airplane to you to inspect...

you'll want to fix everything that is broken.......

On finding the elevator travel limits set backwards, "Well I guess that goes to show you it won't kill anyone." Said by a technician annoyed with the higher standards I brought to the company. As if that's the lesson we needed to learn from that.

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